Friday, September 3, 2010

Me, annoying? Never.

And now, for your reading pleasure, a random selection of things that drive me bonkers:

1.  Procrastination - I think this is a particularly agitating pet peeve for two reasons. 1) My job partly revolves around assisting people, and many times this requires those dear people to fill out mandatory forms that must be returned by a specific deadline.  I think I spend half my life figuring out who hasn't turned in their form yet.  This often makes me want to punch people.  2)  See item 1 in the list below.  I also often want to punch myself.

2. The sound of non-carbonated liquid being poured into a glass/container/etc.  (Carbonation fizzes, which drowns out the noise I hate, so thank you carbonation)  I don't know why, but this makes my skin crawl.

3.  Arrogance - If I find someone to be primarily arrogant in nature, I have a hard time seeing past it.  Ever.  Please get over yourself and act like a normal human being.  Thanks.

4.  Insane drivers - Did you seriously just pull around me, just to cut me off, when I am already exceeding the speed limit?  Again, get over yourself.  This is the worst, because I'm not about to flip somebody off, and there's just nothing you can do but say angry things to yourself in your car like a crazy person.

5.  Mean people - This one just makes me sick.  If I see/hear you being blatantly mean to someone/about someone/etc.  I feel their pain.  Literally, it's like a kick in the gut.  I've become one of those people who has to hold their tongue when I'm in a grocery store and someone says something really ugly to their checker/child/spouse.  I most likely couldn't actually come up with anything effective to say on the spot, which is probably better.  Mean people suck.

WAIT - I have to do six.  Amelia just wouldn't have it if I left this one off.

6.  People touching my face.  Don't. touch. my. face.  I can make exceptions if you're doing it lovingly.  But if you're doing it to annoy me?  Stop it.  Now.  Also?  Don't hit me in the head.  Even playfully.  I do not like to be hit in the head.

Although I'm sure it's hard to believe that I could ever annoy anyone (ahem), here's the good stuff:

1.  I'm a procrastinator.  Big time.  If I get overwhelmed at the thought of a task, obviously the best thing to do is to leave it for the absolute last minute possible, right?  Even worse, I do great work under pressure.  This vicious cycle started back in school, when I realized I could put something off until the last minute, work on it all night, and still get an A.  This killed my roommates in college.  I specifically remember a conversation about an English Lit/Comp class that four of us were taking together.  I missed more class than they did, waited until the last minute to do everything, and was hanging in right at the top grade-wise.  And the professor loved me.  This little trait is horrible for my mental health though.  Like I don't stress out enough on a regular basis.  Which leads us to...

2.  I'm a worrier.  That would be the understatement of the year.  I try to keep it to myself, I really do, but that's fairly impossible, as it helps me take the worry down a notch if I talk about it.  (Also, keeping it to myself is highly ineffective.  I'll have to tell you the story sometime about the paddle boats.  The word implosion comes to mind.  Geesh.)  I know it wears on people, and trust me - I hate that probably more than they do.  I'm lucky to have a lot of patient, wonderful friends.

3.  I'm wordy.  No, really Mary?  We've never noticed that your blog posts are twice as long as everyone else's on a regular basis. :)

4.  I'm an introvert.  I think my friends are used to this after a decade (or two), but my husband hasn't had quite as long to adjust.  My job requires extroversion, and I fake it really well.  However, I think that doubles my introvert tendencies at home.  Mark is an extrovert all the way, so I know how annoying it must be to him when my brain shifts to quiet mode and I just don't want to leave the house for an entire weekend. 

5.  I chew ice.  Sorry Cass!  I also apparently breathe loudly.  Sorry everyone who talks to me on the phone!  I'm going to blame my merciless allergies for that one.

And since I said 6 things about other people, it's only fair...

6.  I talk about my dogs like they're my children.  I even commiserate with people's stories about their toddlers with stories about Milo (because we all know Max is the good child).  See?  See what I did there?  Yes, I'm that girl.  I apologize.  I try to stop myself, really, I do. 

Just six?  There are so many more annoying things about me.  I guess I'm thankful we aren't going to ten.  Everyone needs a little mystery in life.

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