Tuesday, April 13, 2010


After starting the “how I met my mate” blog-fest a few weeks ago, I figure it’s only fair for me to follow Amelia’s lead and share my engagement story.

Adam and I started discussing the possibility of marriage fairly early in our relationship, like within the first 6 months or so. As you may remember from my previous post, Adam was a junior in college when we met and still had a year to go after I graduated, so even though we talked occasionally about getting married, we both knew that it would be a while before the time was right. We dated for about two years. It seemed much longer because I knew Adam was “the one”, but in hindsight I see that God used that time to help us both mature and grow in many ways, not the least of which was spiritually. God’s timing was, as usual, just perfect.

Like Amelia, I had always envisioned a surprise proposal, so when Adam started bringing up rings, I tried to make it very clear that I didn’t think my input was necessary. I told him I had complete faith in his taste and judgment and promised that I was sure I’d be 100% thrilled with whatever he chose. That didn’t work. He told me he wouldn’t settle for less than “perfect” and he couldn’t (and wouldn’t) choose it without me. I agreed to help him on one condition – after I picked it everything else would be a surprise and there would be no further discussion with me about the proposal. He accepted my terms. Adam’s maternal grandmother generously provided us with a beautiful diamond from some of her family jewelry, so we started searching for a setting, but nothing caught my eye at the jewelry stores. We eventually decided to design a custom piece, which was a little stressful for a perfectionist like me, but also really fun. After all the decisions were made, I handed the reigns over to Adam and reminded him that I was now out of the loop. There was one minor snafu with that part of the plan when the jeweler called me to confirm the design (meaning that I knew it was being made and approximately when it would be completed), but I continued to try to put the whole thing out of my mind. I didn’t want to be anticipating a proposal every time we hung out!

On Tuesday, February 11, 2002, Adam called me at work and asked if I wanted to go the park later to throw the frisbee. I said yes. After work I went home and threw on some grubby clothes; Adam picked me up and we headed to the park. To get to the park from my apartment we had to traverse a two-lane bridge over the lake, and for some reason on that night there was a lot of traffic, so by the time we actually got to the park it was already getting really dark and REALLY COLD. We threw the frisbee for a little while, but before long I couldn’t really see it anymore and, quite frankly, I was freezing. Adam suggested we walk down to the water’s edge to sit for a while, but I said I was too cold and asked if he would mind if we just went back to the car. He started insisting, even going so far as to offer me his sweatshirt, saying that he wasn’t cold and would be fine in just his t-shirt. I, being stubborn (and a wuss about cold weather), insisted even more strongly that I would still be uncomfortably cold even with an extra sweatshirt and could we please just go back to the car? He finally agreed and, because I guess I had too successfully put any thoughts of proposals out of my mind, I couldn’t figure out why he was so exasperated about the whole thing. He knows I'm not a fan of the cold! We got into the car and I put on my seatbelt, but Adam didn’t start the engine. He just sat there. Totally silent. I think I asked him why we weren’t leaving and he made up some excuse that didn’t really make sense. More silence. So I started making small talk about what we should eat for dinner. I got a few monosyllabic responses, but mostly silence. So I asked if he had thought about making any plans for Valentine’s Day. “I don’t know,” he said. Silence. I was getting perplexed. Something was very weird and off. Was he about to dump me or something? My mind was racing. I now know that his mind was racing too, trying to come up with a Plan B after I had trampled all over Plan A. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of tense, uncomfortable silence, Adam got out of the car, walked around, and opened the passenger door. I said something like, “What are you doing? I already told you it’s too cold out there!” He asked me very nicely and politely to PLEASE just get out of the car for a minute. I was still so confused and clueless. I stepped out of the car and Adam gave me a big hug, then he started saying some wonderfully sweet things about me and our relationship, and BAM! FINALLY I got it! DUH! He got down on one knee and asked me to marry him, and I said yes! Later, I had to apologize for being so difficult. Adam had a special proposal planned on the bench where we had officially become a couple two years before, and instead he had to get down on one knee in the parking lot next to his dad’s car. Geez. But you know what? It’s still perfect to me, though I admit I never expected to get engaged smelling all sweaty and outdoorsy and wearing a pullover with macaroni & cheese stains on it.

We went back to my apartment, ordered a pizza, and spent the next hour or so calling friends and family to share our exciting news. My dad later told me that when we spoke on the phone, I was "ebullient." Definitely one of the best and happiest nights of my life!

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