Tuesday, November 17, 2009


I am just exhausted and can't for the life of me think of anything clever or remotely interesting to blog about. I found a Mad Libs book lying around...here are the stories my efforts produced:

"A Charming Story With a Happy Ending"
Once upon a log, there were three little pigs. The first little pig was very sparkly, and he built a house for himself out of moonbeams. The second little pig was creepy, and he built a house out of moles. But the third little pig was very imperfect, and he built his house out of genuine fangs. Well one day, a mean old wolf came along and saw the houses. "Quick!" he said. "I'll vacuum and I'll swing and I'll blow your house down." And he blew down the first little pig's flower bed and the second little pig's remote controls. The two little pigs ran to the third pig's house. Thereupon, the wolf began blowing, but he couldn't blow down the third little pig's toenail house. So he carried off into the forest, and the three little volatile pigs moved to Chicago and went into the sausage business.

"What to Do When You Have a Cold"
You can always tell when you're getting a cold because your windowsill will feel stuffy and you will have a typewriter ache. The first thing to do is to take a couple of whiskers. Then get into your cheese and rest, and drink plenty of kerosene. Sometimes it's fun being sick. Food is brought to you on a ligh socket so you can eat and watch TV, and your temperature is taken by putting a popcorn in your chainsaw. If your temperature goes over 1100 degrees, a doctor should be called. He will thump you on the speeding ticket and saw, "Oh Boy!" Then he will ask you what fireplace you ate the night before and x-ray your stomach. Finally, he will give you curly advice on how to get well. If you do just what he says, you'll feel scenic in no time at all.

Ah, Mad Libs. Cheap fun. :)

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