Oh Dear Me

Dear, sweet, 16 year old Mary,

Oh precious girl.  You are young and innocent, and you don't even know it.  You think you're not...you think you've been through it all already, but sadly, that is far from true.  Should I even tell you that?  That's kind of depressing, right?  But I think you need a little preparation. The upside?  You will eventually realize that you are so much tougher than you think you are.  You may be sweet and innocent, but you have some serious perseverance that you haven't even discovered yet. 

On a lighter note...lighten up kid.  It's really okay not to be so serious all the time!  I know you think everyone is watching and judging, and maybe some of them are...but who cares?  If not for the invention of Facebook (I'll spare you the details) you would never have to know what 90% of those people are doing for the rest of their lives. So unfortunately, I can't tell you that you'll never see most of these people again, but I promise, you will eventually realize that it truly does not matter.

And those crazy girls you hang out with?  They are the best thing that's ever happened to you, so don't alienate yourself so much.  Let them off the hook for having a lighter view of life...you are SIXTEEN Mary...you're supposed to have a lighter view of life.  It's even okay to be silly-in-public sometimes.  You've got silly-in-private down - and you will hone that skill in college - but it's okay to loosen up a little.  Really.  And while this is easier said than done, try not to be so afraid of new things.  Push yourself even when you are afraid.  You truly will not believe what you can accomplish in spite of yourself. 

I would love to give you some cautionary advice about the boys in your life...but I think you're going to learn some really good lessons out of all of that...so keep doing what you're doing.  Trust your judgment and forgive your mistakes.  You will stay friends with the people that matter, so stop worrying so much about losing everyone.  You can't keep them all, and I know that will make you sad, but the ones who stay with you are the ones that you really need, and that is so much more than enough.

Also, that master plan you have in your head?  Please release it immediately.  Things will not go as planned my dear girl, and it will not be the end of the world.  I know this will come as a shock, but you will not be married by 25, or a stay at home mom with 3 children by 30.  I'll let you in on a little secret...you probably don't actually even want 3 children.  And the world is still turning on its axis.  Promise.  So stop making decisions based on that plan.  Really.

Lastly...please, please, please...step away from the dark red lipstick.  Also, avoid the Clinique counter in college.  That woman is a liar, and it definitely does look like you are wearing that much makeup.

Ain't no thing but a chicken wing.  Honestly.

Love,
Your older, wiser, 30-something self