Overload

Lately I've been feeling a little twitchy.  The phone rings...twitch; a new email pops up on my screen...twitch, twitch; the television is a little too loud...twitch, twitch, twitch; a co-worker passes yet another project off on me...twitch, twitch, twitch, TWITCH. 

Work has been pretty unbearable lately, and its tentacles have worked their way around things I usually enjoy and squeezed the life right out of them.  For instance, I cannot seem to make myself respond to my personal emails this week.  I open my inbox, I read the emails from my favorite people and acquaint myself with what their days have been like.  I hit reply, and type maybe two words, then delete it and close my email.  It's like my brain is closed for business and it's too much effort to even try to explain it.  No more in, no more out, please.  I'm tired of saying "work is so busy" and complaining about the mundane.  Even I don't want to hear it anymore.  I mean, it's just work, right?

I've been functioning at maximum capacity for several weeks now, but even though my workload is finally beginning to ease up a little bit, I still can't relax.  I'm attacking the backlog, and it feels just as suffocating as everything that's been barreling down on me on a daily basis.  I even had a full-out breakdown in front of one of my bosses last Friday, complete with barely contained tears.  I had scheduled to leave a few hours early to kick off the three day weekend and give myself a break from the long hours I've been working, but from 7:01 a.m. everything had been going wrong.  So at 2:45 p.m. when I finally dragged out of the building an hour and 15 minutes early (though technically only 15 minutes early, since I hadn't even stopped to eat lunch - not that I was counting - ahem), I was undone.  The three day weekend helped, but it had it's own stresses.  So here I am a week post-breakdown and I'm still not right.

I think I need some time off work.  (Ladies and Gentlemen, I have provided you with the understatement of the year!)  Unfortunately, now is just not the time to take it.  I want to turn off the computer, the phone, the tv, the noise, the lights, and just have a little peace.  I want to get in my car and just keep driving; past home, past work, past the state line.  But I guess this little venting session is as good as it's going to get for awhile.  So readers, thanks for reading.  The outlet, though small, is much appreciated.